meanderings

Praise be thou, oh Lord our God, King of the Universe
Who has granted us life, sustained us, and permitted us to reach this day


i am thankful today for life. it is a gift not to be taken for granted.
i am even more thankful today for the life of my children and of my mate of twenty six years.

i am thankful today for second and third and thousand and one chances to do it better, that each failure is not the end but a new starting point.

i am thankful for the inspiration of others who have lived well and give me hope.

i am thankful for friendship that steadies and sustains me in times of both need and joy.

i am thankful for the life growing in kat's belly, a life hoped for and waited for and already beloved for life.

i am thankful for beth george, one of the brightest lights in my world.

i am thankful for my kind and generous father who drives me crazy with his inability to take care of himself.

i am thankful for my thoughtful and neurotic mother who has found solace so oddly in the absence of thought.

i am thankful for a sister who has adored me all my life.

i am thankful for my brothers who have each found their own path to fulfilling that urgent call to be what they can live with as a good man.

i am thankful for the good man who has shared my life and my thoughts for over half my life.

i am thankful for my sweet shosha, who allowed me to love her when i was so afraid and who loved me back so freely.

i am thankful for my precious maura bear, who never ceases to amaze me with her brilliance and creativity.

i am thankful for nicholas, my asked-for blessing, who i think will grow up to be a very good man in a world sadly in need.

i am thankful for family, for the experience of the many and varied individuals that i am connected to by that bond.

i am thankful for the good health to run and think, two things i hope never to take for granted.

i am thankful for the creative outlet of my work and the intrinsic and concrete rewards of working with children.

i am thankful for the Creator God, who has made me as i am and cares for me as i am and not as i want to be or think i should be.

Praise be thou, oh Lord our God, King of the Universe
Who has granted us life, sustained us and permitted us to reach this day.

ways to make the world a better place....


* think your ugly thoughts and then let them go.... hurtful words have a long shelf life.
* find some time in your week for solitude and silence.
* spend some money each week on someone outside your immediate family
* give to a non-church charity. (most money given to church benefits only the church members so it's like giving to yourself, not a bad thing... but not to be confused with real charity)
* do something nice for someone who has wronged you. if you're not there yet, tell yourself ten times... i want to be judged with mercy, therefore i forgive __________
* take any contraversial issue, research the side you don't agree with until you can understand that position even though you don't agree with it
* imagine the pain and suffering of someone in the news as if it were your child or spouse or parent or someone else that you love
* be kind. it is a sorely lacking characteristic in our society

excerpt from healing iraq


Saturday, November 13, 2004
Outbreak
The general situation in Baghdad these days is sinisterly reminiscient of the war. You keep hearing distant and sometimes not so distant thuds and explosions that make windows rattle. Helicopters hovering 24 hours a day almost at palm tree levels and jet fighters screeching high above with an increasing urgency that makes one cringe from apprehension. Electric power is almost non-existent and there has been a serious shortage in petrol since Tuesday, most gas stations have been closed for days and it's hard to find even on the black market, which means
less electrical generator time for Iraqi households.

Fighting seems to have spread to several areas in Baghdad, including my neighbourhood. Haifa street, Dora, Amiriya, Khadhraa', Bayaa', Adhamiya and Zayuna districts have all witnessed clashes, mostly between hit-and-run armed groups and IP or NG's. IED's are all over the capital and several key roads and bridges have been blocked.

A cryptic threat was circulated a few days ago in both Baghdad and Ba'quba by insurgents warning people to stay away from "governmental departments and schools" causing widespread panic. A couple of primary schools in Baghdad were reportedly stormed by armed men wearing scary gorilla masks, so schools and colleges have been almost empty lately. The air is rife with outlandish rumours and conspiracy theories, aggravated by the lack of news about what is exactly going on since most Arab media outlets are more interested in the funeral and the
death circumstances of Yassir Arafat than the Iraqi scene at the moment.

I returned from Basrah Wednesday and was greeted by hooded men in a Kia minibus firing their AK-47's in the air close to the entrance of our street. The troubled taxi driver dropped me off with my suitcase and drove away to safety. The Kia went by and then into a sidestreet where
they seemed to have found a target since frantic shooting followed. Not a living soul was on the street except yours truly and I froze for a few seconds uncertain on which way to head. A close 'whizzzzzz' followed by a loud metallic clang behind me got me moving, so I scurried to my destination keeping as close as possible to the walls while I was reflecting on a friend's description of what it felt like to have a bullet tear through his loin. It was definitely not a fun
experience but I luckily made it home. I have been scared stiff to put my nose out of the door since. This is the fourth occasion in which I get myself caught in the middle of a shootout and something tells me I won't be as lucky next time if we follow probability laws.

Nobody is following the situation in Fallujah anymore since the whole country seems to have plunged into chaos. There has been fighting in Ramadi, Khaldiya, Hit, Haditha, Garma, Abu Ghraib, Qaim, Mosul, Kirkuk, Hawija, Baiji, Tikrit, Samarra, Tarmiya, Balad, Muqdadiya, Salman Pak, Jurf Al-Naddaf, and most likely in dozens more areas that go unreported. Attacks on pipelines supplying power stations in Baiji have caused the lack of electricity for the last few days. Any other talk about 'collective punishment' is pure nonsense and the ramblings of
lunatics.

Also, if one reflects for a moment on the abovementioned areas that are now supposedly in rebellion we come to a realisation that not one bullet was shot against the advancing US forces in these areas during the war. Why is that? The deadliest resistance to occupying forces was
in Umm Qasr, Basrah, Abu Al-Khasib, Nasiriya, Kut, and Karbala. In fact we all heard during the war about banquets for US special forces thrown by tribal Sheikhs in Haditha and other areas of the Anbar governorate. The 'resistance' only started after the de-Ba'athification and the
disbanding of the army and security forces which tells us a lot about the mentality of the 'freedom fighters' who claim to be fighting to end occupation.

What is worse is that the first chapter of the future Iraqi civil war is currently being written. The Sunni armed groups have made no secret this time of their true intentions. According to them, the Iraqi NG's are now just infidel 'Kurd and Shi'ite' militias taking their revenge against the peace-loving Sunnis. The Association of Muslim Scholars issues fatwas calling Iraqi security forces 'apostates' because "Iraqis should not be fighting Iraqis under the occupation". This fatwa implies that if the occupation ends tomorrow then it would be okay for Iraqis to kill each other then, since that has always been the case over the last three decades. Harith Al-Dhari might have regained whatever credibility he previously had by stating that "No Iraqis should kill other Iraqis period", which would apply to the insurgents who insist on blowing up other Iraqis in police stations, churches and hospitals.

Will write on further developments later.



# posted by zeyad : 11/13/2004 04:47:02 AM

excerpt from bagdad burning.....

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Rule of Iraq Assassins Must End...
I'm not feeling well- it's a combination of the change of weather and the decline in the situation. Eid is less than a week away but no one is feeling at all festive. We're all worried about the situation in Falloojeh and surrounding regions. We've ceased worrying about the explosions in Baghdad and are now concerned with the people who have left their homes and valuables and are living off of the charity of others.

Allawi declared a "State of Emergency" a couple of days ago... A state of emergency *now* - because previous to this week, we Iraqis were living in an American made Utopia, as the world is well aware. So what does an "Emergency State" signify for Iraqis? Basically, it means we are now *officially* more prone to being detained, raided, and just generally abused by our new Iraqi forces and American ones. Today they declared a curfew on Baghdad after 10 p.m. but it hasn't really made an impact because people have stopped leaving their houses after dark anyway.

The last few days have been tense and heart-rending. Most of us are really worried about Falloojeh. Really worried about Falloojeh and all the innocents dying and dead in that city. There were several explosions in Baghdad these last few days and hardly any of them were covered by the press. All this chaos has somehow become uncomfortably normal. Two years ago I never would have dreamed of living like this- now this lifestyle has become the norm and I can barely remembering having lived any other way.

My cousin kept the kids home from school, which is happening quite often. One of the explosions today was so close, the house rocked with the impact and my cousin's wife paled, "Can you imagine if the girls had been at school when that happened- I would have died."

Dozens of civilians have died these last few days in Ramadi, Falloojeh, and Samarra. We are hearing about complete families being killed under the rain of bombs being dropped by American forces. The phone lines in those areas seem to be cut off. We've been trying to call some relatives in Ramadi for the last two days, but it's next to impossible. We keep getting that dreadful busy tone and there's just no real way of knowing what is going on in there. There is talk of the use of cluster bombs and other forbidden weaponry.

We're hearing various stories about the situation. The latest is that 36 American troops have been taken prisoner along with dozens of Iraqi troops. How do people feel about the Iraqi troops? There's a certain rage. It's difficult to sympathize with a fellow-countryman while he's killing one of his own. People generally call them "Dogs of Occupation" here because instead of guarding our borders or securing areas, they are used to secure American forces. They drive out in front of American cars in order to clear the roads and possibly detonate some of those road mines at a decent distance from the American tanks. At the end of the day, most of them are the remnants of militias and that's the way they act.

And now they are being used in Falloojeh against other Iraqis. The whole situation is making me sick and there's a fury building up. The families in Falloojeh have been relegated to living in strange homes and mosques outside of the city... many of them are setting up their families inside of emptied schools and municipal buildings in Samarra and neighboring areas. Every time I see Allawi on tv talking about his regrets about 'having to attack Falloojeh' I get so angry I could scream. He's talking to the outside world, not to us. Iraqis don't buy his crap for a instant. We watch him talk and feel furious and frustrated with our new tyrant.

I was watching CNN this morning and I couldn't get the image of the hospital in Falloojeh being stormed by Iraqi and American troops out of my head- the Iraqis being made to lay face-down on the ground, hands behind their backs. Young men and old men... and then the pictures of Abu Ghraib replay themselves in my mind. I think people would rather die than be taken prisoner by the Americans.

The borders with Syria and Jordan are also closed and many of the highways leading to the borders have been blocked. There are rumors that there are currently 100 cars ready to detonate in Mosul, being driven by suicide bombers looking for American convoys. So what happens when Mosul turns into another Falloojeh? Will they also bomb it to the ground? I heard a report where they mentioned that Zarqawi 'had probably escaped from Falloojeh'... so where is he now? Mosul?

Meanwhile, Rumsfeld is making his asinine remarks again,

"There aren't going to be large numbers of civilians killed and certainly not by U.S. forces,"

No- there are only an 'estimated' 100,000 civilians in Falloojeh (and these are American estimations). So far, boys and men between the ages of 16 and 60 aren't being counted as 'civilians' in Falloojeh. They are being rounded up and taken away. And, *of course* the US forces aren't going to be doing the killing: The bombs being dropped on Falloojeh don't contain explosives, depleted uranium or anything harmful- they contain laughing gas- that would, of course, explain Rumsfeld's idiotic optimism about not killing civilians in Falloojeh. Also, being a 'civilian' is a relative thing in a country occupied by Americans. You're only a civilian if you're on their side. If you translate for them, or serve them food in the Green Zone, or wipe their floors- you're an innocent civilian. Everyone else is an insurgent, unless they can get a job as a 'civilian'.

So this is how Bush kicks off his second term. More bloodshed.

"Innocent civilians in that city have all the guidance they need as to how they can avoid getting into trouble,"

How do they do that Rumsfeld? While tons of explosives are being dropped upon your neighborhood, how do you do that? Do you stay inside the house and try to avoid the thousands of shards of glass that shoot out at you from shattering windows? Or do you hide under a table and hope that it's sturdy enough to keep the ceiling from crushing you? Or do you flee your house and pray to God you don't come face to face with an Apache or tank or that you aren't in the line of fire of a sniper? How do you avoid the cluster bombs and all the other horror being dealt out to the people of Falloojeh?

There are a couple of things I agree with. The first is the following:

"Over time you'll find that the process of tipping will take place, that more and more of the Iraqis will be angry about the fact that their innocent people are being killed..."

He's right. It is going to have a decisive affect on Iraqi opinion- but just not the way he thinks. There was a time when pro-occupation Iraqis were able to say, "Let's give them a chance..." That time is over. Whenever someone says that lately, at best, they get a lot of nasty looks... often it's worse. A fight breaks out and a lot of yelling ensues... how can one condone occupation? How can one condone genocide? What about the mass graves of Falloojeh? Leaving Islam aside, how does one agree to allow the murder of fellow-Iraqis by the strongest military in the world?

The second thing Rumsfeld said made me think he was reading my mind:

"Rule of Iraq assassins must end..." I couldn't agree more: Get out Americans.


- posted by river @ 1:02 AM

a good man is hard to find.... and mine was a gift

this is the email my husband sent our children this morning. he said it so much better than i did.


To all my children,

Sitting here in the bottom of my own hole at 7:30 Wednesday morning, I know with certainty that this is not a good place for me or you or any of us. So I'm crawling out, destined by circumstances not of our making to spend another four years in opposition. And I invite you to join me.

We hoped, we prayed, we worked and we gave in an effort to turn this country in a different direction, and the majority - a slim but undeniable majority of those who chose to participate in this maddeningly flawed democracy - said yes to greed, exclusion, fear, war, and a frightening, pervasive and self-serving meanspiritedness. The 51 percent chose their own small hopes - the great and ugly American gods of personal prosperity and safety - over a larger hope. And in doing so, many simply voted their fear - for a candidate who preyed on and exploited that fear, offering a false safety of confrontation, blustering rhetoric and death.

And 49 percent said NO - there is a better way!!!!

I believe that a different and better time will come - I hope in my lifetime, but surely in yours. This country is slow to awaken to the realities that so many people in the world know and see clearly already. The "mandate" that the talking heads will jabber mindlessly and incessantly about in the coming days hangs by a thread. In our 'winner-take-all' system of government, that means a polarized society and another four years of opposing what appears to be the mainstream. But I believe this country is in the process of awakening, and I think the darkness of the Bush Era will be a catalyst for the continued growth of that awakening.

There were no good reasons for Bush to be re-elected - only bad reasons. And, to me, the most telling pre-election analysis was one that showed clearly that Bush supporters were critically uninformed of his policies and positions, whereas Kerry supporters, statistically, knew in an overwhelming proportion exactly what Bush stands for and what the alternatives are. The opposition's clear understanding and focus is a powerful weapon in the battle to persuade - especially when the opposed's mandate is built largely on the manipulation of fear.

As it attempts to instituationalize its power during the next four years, the Bush administration will reap the just reward of its divisive domestic policies and its international warmongering, and will struggle to govern a nation increasingly divided at home and isolated in relation to the world. At home, the gap between Bush's base and the rest of America will widen, health care availabilty and environmental quality will continue to deteriorate, the economy will struggle under the burden of the deficit, and the mainstream of American religion will finally find its voice against Bush's blasphemy. (I truly believe that the work spearheaded by Sojourners and similar organizations will, over time, help turn the tables against Republicanism). Internationally, the Iraq quagmire will regretably worsen and terrorist activity will almost certainly increase. There are dangers in all of these near-certain scenarios, of course. But there is also great opportunity for the opposition to change the tide.

So don't give up. Crawl up out of your hole. Find, and listen to, the angry and hopeful voices that speak to you. I'm waiting for my heroes - Steve Earle and Michael Moore and Barbara Kingsolver and Noam Chomsky and Bruce Springsteen and Al Sharpton and Bruce Cockburn and Wendell Berry and Jim Wallis and Carrie Newcomer and so many others - to say the things I know they'll say that can help inspire and sustain me. Find the voices that speak to you. Turn off CNN, speak your own voice, find some work to do, and, above all, after you've had a good cry, say no to despair.

I'm ordering my bumperstickers this morning: 'Frodo Failed - Bush Has The Ring.' But ultimately, I stilll think he'll get there.

I love you all!

Daddy


..... and howard dean was so positive in his email today. i really appreciated that. and i really want to thank john kerry. better to have taken the high road and lost than to have gotten into the muck with bush. i know some political analysists saw that as a mistake. i saw it as integrity.

all we like sheep ...

it's all down to image. americans have just voted as if they were rooting for a football team. 73% of bush supporters cannot tell you what his policies are (independent poll group) but they believe he's a good man and a moral man. the question then that must be asked is why. there are more people living in poverty. there are fewer people with healthcare, and no one disputes that those who have healthcare pay more and receive less. ask any educator if no child left behind has improved education. abortion rates are up, despite the rhetoric against it (see point one), iraq, at least if not the world, is a more dangerous place every day..... which one of these makes this man either good or moral.

but he looks like one of us... fumbling, lots of godtalk without godwalk, telling us we're winning, telling us we're better than everybody else ... and america likes that. children like that. without guidance, children will gravitate towards selfishness. every teacher has experience with how mean children can be to each other. sharing is a learned skill. kindness comes from kindness.

we are in desperate need in this country for a good man, but we don't have one. a good man would have to use the same means this president did. he'll have to reach out to people who have seen their life become worse and motivate them to support him with something greater than what they have economically. this president called to their fear and their sense of moral superiority. unfortunately, it's an easy sell.

the path is narrow that leads to heaven and few there are who take it... so says the bible. john kerry is not the narrow path, but george bush and the republican party are certainly the broad path that leads to destruction. the narrow path is not a political party but a way of life. there is a battle to be waged, and it isn't so much against the republican party as it is the lifestyle that supports it. it is a battle against shallowness and greed and the easy path. it is a battle that demands more of our life and energy than we are willing to give unless we feel our survival is threatened.

there can be more evil done in a good man's name than in a recognized tyrant. read history. how many times has god's name been used to divide and destroy. how many times has god's name been used to unite and create something better....

should i really feel bad about being a part of a minority today?